Most of the time, my muscles are as tight as closed fists; this gives new meaning to the phrase tight body.
I mean that I do not have the energy to get out of bed, I replied.
My partner is quick to reassure me that family and friends would much rather see me when I am feeling well, and that it’s important for me to take care of myself. Despite my frequent worry about this topic, his reminders help. But the expectations that “nice” women are up for anything, are cheery, social, ever helpful, able to go to parties and events, look pretty at all times, be charming and friendly and talkative and make other people comfortable by not showing that they’re upset, annoyed, in a funk, or (in my case) in pain at all–still haunt me.
The central idea in this attitude, as with the skepticism surrounding chronic fatigue syndrome, chronic Lyme disease, and more—is that women who have any of these “mysterious” diseases must be exaggerating their symptoms for attention, embellishing descriptions of their daily pain to get drugs, or dumb enough to have been convinced by drug ads on TV or news articles or WebMD that they have these “made up” diseases. There’s a pervasive cultural idea that men’s pain should be taken seriously—if a man is in enough pain to visit a doctor, he must be in real pain. The other side of this coin is that women’s pain should not be taken seriously—a woman in pain who’s concerned enough to visit a doctor for treatment might be just hysterical or anxious.
To people who do not have chronic pain, this sounds like I have given up. To me, it sounds like common sense.
Ahoy. As many of you have probably realized, I am devoting a huge share of my blogging energy (blog-ergy?) these days to maintaining Disability Intersections. A lot of my writing/content—including longform cartoons–can be found there! This is not really a “state of the blog” post or announcement that I’m taking it down, or anything of the sort; it’s more of a “hi, here is why I haven’t updated my damn blog for over a year” post. WHEE.
Relatedly, s.e. and I are always looking for new contributors for the site! Please read about our submission guidelines/policies here and get in touch with us if the mood strikes.
Click for large version.
[Description: Line drawing of a Potoo bird with its lower body shaped like a tablet; the tablet reads “M365.” To the bottom right of the Potoo is the cartoonist, grimacing in obvious pain. The two are having a conversation:
Potoo: Hey dude take yr fucking pills already. Suffering through yr pain is a rlly bad idea.
Annaham: That is a good suggestion; thanks, Painkiller Potoo.]
Painkiller Potoo knows what’s up.
[Originally published on Disability Intersections on March 21, 2014.]
Heaven’s Gate was an American UFO religious Millenarian group based in San Diego, California, founded in the early 1970s and led by Marshall Applewhite (1931–1997) and Bonnie Nettles (1927–1985). On March 26, 1997, police discovered the bodies of 39 members of the group who had committed mass suicide in order to reach what they believed was an alien space craft following the Comet Hale–Bopp, which was then at its brightest.
–From Wikipedia’s entry on Heaven’s Gate (content warning on link for description of suicide and photos)
I’ve been fascinated with the Heaven’s Gate cult ever since I saw–as an 11 year-old–a huge photograph of the members’ dead bodies, apparently peacefully posed on bunkbeds, on the front page of my local paper, under the rather alarmist headline (and all-caps) headline HOUSE OF HORROR. As I picked up bits and pieces of information on the group that the news media breathlessly reported throughout April and May of 1997, I began to wonder if the “house of horror” headline was overblown; yes, these folks had committed mass suicide, but they had also found people to whom they could relate and live with peacefully (albeit in a fringe religious group). Was that so horrifying? To most people–and to the media–it seemed like the answer was a resounding yes.