Stuff I wish I could Google

noodle after groom

NO HUMAN I WILL NOT STOP TRYING TO CRAM MY ENTIRE FOOT INTO MY MOUTH

is my anxiety returning or is it Coronavirus

is it hay fever or Coronavirus

dog won’t stop licking her butthole

tops of arms itching is it allergies

is walton goggins handsome or is my taste in guys weird

how to be nice about not liking someone’s book

feet itching under calluses, is this a red flag for something

how to deal with professional jealousy in a way that does not involve writing in a journal (because i have already done that and it has not worked)

how to give dog subcutaneous fluids at home without traumatizing the dog or the humans doing it

my dog will not stop trying to cram her whole foot in her mouth because it itches; how do i make her stop

is dog sleep apnea a thing

how to deal with being just as bitter and angry as lots of other people, even though you want to be thought of as a person who has their shit together

how to get your shit together

how to avoid a popular person on Twitter when everybody follows them, even though that person sucks

why do my nasal allergies flare up when I put my cpap mask on and lie down to go to sleep

why is jared kushner’s face so punchable

watching the same MST3K episodes over and over: how much is too much

why does everyone love this person even though i hate them

it’s mid-may, why is it raining where i live

can i punch someone for wearing a trump 2020 t-shirt and avoid getting arrested

why is coldplay consistently the fucking worst

why am i so annoyed by conventionally attractive people who post endless instagram photos of themselves doing regular-person things

is there a term for insomnia caused by a chronic pain episode

why do the spoon metaphor and the term “spoonie” send me into a rage

biggest celebrity hot messes of all time

why does the hashtag #blessed make me want to go off the grid forever

why is donald trump the stupidest man alive

when do essential oil blends expire, and can i keep wearing them even if they are expired

how likely is the apocalypse to be caused by donald trump and/or a member of his shitty, good-for-nothing family

how to be happier without resorting to positive thinking or the secret-style bullshit

why are coronavirus conspiracy theorists so gullible

does mike pence call his wife “mother” when they are having sex

why do so many vegan foods have nuts and/or bell peppers (read: two things i am allergic to) in them

how to get your picky-ass dog to EAT SOMETHING

why do i get the wii shop channel music stuck in my head so often

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