Archive for the ‘wat’ Category
Yorktopus
March 21, 2012Rating Holiday Albums Based on the Covers, part 2
December 27, 2011This feature has been divided into two posts, since the first one was getting a bit long. You can view part one here. So, continuing with making silly comments about holiday albums! I know, Christmas was yesterday, but why not keep the momentum going?
This is your blue-grey toned Photoshop filter on “Unrecognizable” mode.
I’m totally coveting her hat. The rest of it (including the weird font), not so much.
James Taylor looks quite nicely dressed up for Winter. Too bad he seems to be standing indoors, in front of a wall made of feces.
There are times when words and/or speech disappear for me, and this is one of those times. Also, I can’t help but notice how there is a present directly above HiDu’s head. I don’t think she’ll be quite as happy when it falls from the sky. Is she able to make gifts levitate magically? This remains unexplained.
I had no idea that Glamor Shots was still around.
This is Bright Eyes’ Christmas contribution, which is so morose-looking that I now have an incredible urge to buy it.
I want to buy this one, too, but for different reasons. Dolly Parton, you are my favorite implant-sporting woman.
The International Male Catalog presents: CHRISTMAS!
Christmas is the biggest sepia season of the year! Is there a reason why Celine appears to be smelling this package?
Thomas Kinkade’s first-ever celebrity portrait session goes tragically, terribly wrong.
Someone got a little excited with the Photoshop on this one. Is it just me, or does Josh Groban look like he’s all, “I’M STEALING YOUR SOOOOOOUL” instead of smiling coyly?
All I want for Christmas is for album cover designers to stop using computer graphics for nefarious purposes, such as putting little Santa hats on cover photos.
There are three of these?
Billy Gilman: I, TOO, AM STEALING YOUR SOOOOOOUL.
Merry Christmas! You get…I kind of don’t know what is going on here.
No, that’s not phallic at all.
I hope whomever designed this was severely reprimanded, both for making the normally lovely KT Tunstall look jaundiced, and for sticking her in a short-sleeved top OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF A FUCKING TUNDRA (or implying it, using the magic of cut n’paste). And then having the audacity to slap a bow onto such an atrocity.
I hope all of you who celebrate the holidays had a lovely time, and in case you didn’t get what you want this year, take heart: a Justin Bieber holiday album can’t be far behind.
Maybe Not Quite The Worst Album of All Time: A Short Review of Lulu (2011)
November 30, 2011Hi, folks! You may have noticed that I have not been around the blogging world as of late; the primary reason for this is because I am finishing my Master’s thesis and have not had much time to blog about anything important. Continuing this trend, here is a short review of one of the most polarizing albums of the year, the Lou Reed and Metallica collaboration Lulu. It is available as a two-disc album as well as a (rather perplexing) $120 special edition box set.
First, a disclaimer: I did not have high expectations for this album at all. Since I am probably one of the comparatively few people who still follows Lou Reed’s current output (un-ironically, I swear) and who also really, really liked 2003′s The Raven (because where the hell else are you going to get Lou Reed and Antony Hegarty collaborating on anything, and both Steve Buscemi and Willem Dafoe READING SELECTIONS FROM EDGAR ALLEN POE’S WORKS[!] on one record?), I was eager to at least give this collaboration a chance. I suspected that it would either be the best record of the year (HA), or the worst.
(The jury is still out on whether the album art is the worst of all time, however.)
There are a lot of things to pick at here: the ramrod guitar-bass-drum combo rockers that go on for six minutes; James Hetfield’s unfortunate backing vocals in many of the songs, which seem to signal that he is trying too hard; the creepiness of hearing a man who is nearing 70 years of age say, with apparent seriousness, “I am your little girl” (that would be from “Mistress Dread”; I know it’s a concept album, but come on); the fact every song on the first disc could have been cut by a minute or so without any detrimental effect to the overall flow of the album.
However, there are a couple of songs that are at least listenable, if not great. “Iced Honey” is a fairly catchy, if somewhat standard, rock song. “Little Dog” is not terrible, either, save for the mention of the titular dog’s penis for no apparent reason. The album’s final track, “Junior Dad” is twenty minutes long and, strangely, is probably the best track on the album. Its length–and its interesting instrumental work–distinguish it from most of Lulu, if only because it is not (for the most part) yet another six-minute hard rock track that prominently features Lou Reed’s poetry read in a monotone and James Hetfield’s awkward backing vocals in all the wrong places. One wonders whether Lulu would still be a spectacular failure if Metallica and Reed had taken things in a more “Junior Dad”-esque direction. I think it would be a much better album if this were the case, but despite the album’s failures, I cannot call Lulu the worst album of all time.
No, my pick for the worst album of all time is still Pat Boone’s In a Metal Mood: No More Mr. Nice Guy, which is an odd, somewhat overproduced collection of metal and rock covers from the conservative Christian crooner. It’s sort of like an alternate-universe version of the oeuvre of Richard Cheese and Lounge Against the Machine, except Boone is — as far as I can tell — totally serious, whereas Richard Cheese and LAtM works really well because the audience is in on the joke. It seems that Reed and the members of Metallica are serious about Lulu also, but at least Lulu has a few things going for it (even if one of those things is TWENTY MINUTES LONG). You can tell that Reed and Metallica enjoyed making this record — even if the end result never quite comes together as a coherent concept album, or reaches the level of transcendent godawfulness that many of us expected. Maybe it’s one of those records where you either get it or you don’t. I, for the most part, don’t.
Music Monday: Cover songs!
September 26, 2011I find cover songs, on the whole, super-interesting; many of them are slices of various musicians and bands at their worst or most outright bizarre (see Nickelback’s cover of “Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting” by Elton John) or their best (see below). Love ‘em or hate ‘em, covers seem to be a perennially-discussed topic amongst fans of music and popular culture. There is even a website devoted to covers.
This post collects just a few of my favorites, because a post of all of my favorite covers would be entirely too long. Lyrics for each song are linked via the song title.
Garbage did an absolutely stunning version of “Candy Says,” originally by the Velvet Underground, a while back:
Next up is Tori Amos, about whom I should probably just write a whole blog entry because she is so prolific with cover songs (TAKE NOTE, me). Anyway, she covered a bunch of songs written by men about women for her 2001 album Strange Little Girls, but two of the arguably best tracks from those recording sessions did not actually make it onto the album.
“After All” (David Bowie):
“Only Women Bleed” (Alice Cooper):
This doesn’t mean that Strange Little Girls was a bad album, however. Check out her piano and voice cover of Joe Jackson’s “Real Men” — a searing indictment of traditional masculinity that is still pretty damn relevant in the present moment, even though it was recorded in the early 1980s:
Covers have also been a unique part of Tori’s live shows. I would be remiss not to include her absolutely gorgeous organ-and-voice version of Prince’s “Purple Rain,” recorded in 1996:
Then there’s her version of Radiohead’s “Karma Police,” performed on tour in 2005:
Speaking of Radiohead covers, roots/Americana musician Gillian Welch has been known to cover “Black Star” in concert; in many ways, her version surpasses the original:
Again surpassing the original (which may equal blasphemy to some Dylan fans, I know): Nina Simone sings Bob Dylan’s “The Times They Are A-Changin’“:
I am including Antony and the Johnsons’ b-sided take on Beyonce’s “Crazy in Love” because it is so radically different from the original song (check those string arrangements), but still awesome:
Patti Smith’s album Twelve is a collection of covers; if you’ve ever wanted to hear Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” interpreted as a folk tune WITH BANJO, this is an album worth picking up:
And lastly, recently-departed R.E.M. once recorded an amazing cover of the Velvet Underground’s “Femme Fatale.” Michael Stipe’s quiet falsetto is, in many ways, an intense counterpoint to original VU vocalist Nico’s monotone:
Feel free, as always, to link your favorites in the comments.
Makeup post: Urban Decay 24/7 Eyeshadow Pencils
July 29, 2011
[Description: Photo of four eyeshadow pencils of various colors.]
I need to take a moment to rave about Urban Decay’s 24/7 Shadow Pencils ($20 US) and how fantastic they are. These are basically eyeshadows in pencil form, and I’ve found them extremely useful, but perhaps not for the reasons you’d imagine.
As most readers of this blog know, I have moderate to severe chronic pain and fatigue issues due to fibromyalgia. Cosmetics, for me, are usually not an “everyday” thing (save for lipgloss or lipstick, because those take about 15 seconds to apply if I’m not doing anything fancy) because of the time that it takes me to do a “nice” makeup job. More often than not, the time it takes for me to do “nice” makeup translates into lost energy and/or more pain. Pain due to repetitive motion is one of those things that is outside the realm of most abled peoples’ experience, but on my bad days, putting cosmetics on–and screwing it up, and more often than not having to start all over again–can be physically painful. And yes, some people may be thinking, “Yeah, RIGHT, putting on eyeshadow can’t be that painful!” For me, though, it can be, and I’m sure a lot of people with fibro would say something similar. Just try putting on makeup when your arm feels like it’s been weighted down with a huge piece of iron. After a certain point, it just doesn’t feel worth it anymore, particularly if you’re in a lot of pain and yet you keep making mistakes with makeup application because you are in pain. Parts of it seem very chicken/egg.
Enter the UD 24/7 pencils. One or two swipes of the pencil is all it takes, and the actual shadow component of the pencil is large enough that it’ll cover your entire lid (downside: can lead to some imprecision). Granted, these aren’t going to completely prevent pain from repetitive motion, but the one or two swipes and you’re done thing is a huge improvement over having to apply eyeshadow primer, then apply shadow with a brush, then do it again if you screw up, then clean the brush(es) after you use them, et cetera. I haven’t tried blending these yet (and once I do, I’ll write about the results), but I will probably end up getting a few of these because they are awesome. I have the one in Sin (a very shimmery pink champagne/beige shade), and would like to try Barracuda (black with silver shimmer), Delinquent (shimmery eggplant purple), and Mercury (gunmetal gray). If you have chemical sensitivity issues, I am not sure if these would be appropriate given the list of ingredients (scroll down the page for ingredient lists; each pencil may contain different pigments and such).
In short, these things are awesome, and I highly recommend that you give them a go, if you’re so inclined.
[A slightly different version of this post appeared on my Tumblr.]
More makeup blogging, I guess
May 11, 2011
[Image of Annaham, a young white woman with dark blond hair (worn in a bun) and blue eyes, sitting on a couch, wearing bright blue/teal eyeshadow that is exaggeratedly painted above her eyelids, nude-pink lipstick, and an orange scarf with white polka dots. She is looking up at something above the frame with a bemused expression.]
YET ANOTHER RIDICULOUS PHOTO OF YOURS TRULY, WITH MAKEUP.
This time, it’s Urban Decay’s Painkiller eyeshadow, available in the Show Pony Shadow Box (an excellent palette that has some good neutrals AND some lovely brighter colors; review from Temptalia here); Peace (from the Deluxe Shadow line, of which there is an entire palette, which I highly recommend if you want to try a lot of bright colors but are on a budget) is a fairly close dupe, although it’s a little more true blue than Painkiller. Lipstick (not really visible in this photo, but oh well) is MAC’s Sheen Supreme in Impressive (reviews and swatches); it’s a nice pink-nude color with a texture that is quite moisturizing on the lips, if you go for that sort of thing. Many lipsticks tend to be too drying for my lips, which probably explains why I have a lip gloss collection in the double-digits and (maybe) five or six lipsticks in total.
There are some people who believe that bright eyeshadows draw too much attention to the wearer and so should not be used, or should be used sparingly. You can probably guess why I think that is a load of hooey. This isn’t true for everybody, of course, but if some jackass is going to stare at me because I am moving through the world while being disabled and a woman and such, I might as well go out on some days with my bright eyeshadow on because it enhances something that I like about my appearance (that would be my eyes, for the curious), and I am thus less likely to care if some douche thinks I shouldn’t be out in public, or wants to ask me about my cane, or something.
Does this work every time? Nope. But some days, it keeps me from going over the edge or down a spiral of awful self-esteem (which has been a problem ever since I can remember) and, at times, very actively disliking myself. Sometimes, it’s the little things that get you through. Not always, but sometimes. I have had issues with my appearance for a long time, and wearing colorful makeup every so often has (weirdly) helped me move past some of these issues, or at least has shown me that I can (and do, even when I’m not wearing makeup) look fabulous. I was convinced for a long time that my face was weird-looking. Thanks in part to experimenting with bright makeup, I don’t feel that way anymore. I may not be conventionally “attractive,” but that is totally cool with me.
I probably should be wearing eyeliner or mascara here to make things look more “finished,” but it was pretty hot outside and I wanted to minimize time spent getting the makeup off my face after I was finished wearing it (and when I wash makeup off, it tends to run down the side of my goddamn face as well. AWESOME).
[Originally posted on Tumblr]
Wearing fuchsia lipstick: Not the apex of self-acceptance, but it helps
April 14, 2011
[Image of Annaham, a young woman with dark blond hair (worn in a bun) and blue eyes, sitting on a couch and pursing her lips in an exaggerated manner. She wears a black t-shirt and fuchsia lipstick.]
So, sometimes I like to wear makeup. This is not exactly news, I know.
In this photo, I am wearing Urban Decay’s Trainwreck lipstick, which is BRIGHT FUCHSIA, and it has glitter in it. I should note that I am not wearing any other makeup here, hence the wonky left eyebrow and skin unevenness. After I first bought this lipstick, I was kind of afraid to wear it in public because it is SO BRIGHT on my lips. I feel like someone, at some point, may come up to me and say, “That lipstick is too bright for your lips! Wear something more neutral.” (This may or may not be followed by an invasive question about my cane, because people commenting on someone’s appearance tend to pull that kind of shit, at least in my experience.)
To which I say: This is the only bright lipstick shade that I own, and I usually have issues with my lips in that I think they are too big and/or “out there.” That feeling seems to take a backseat when I wear this lipstick. Sometimes I just want to say, “MY LIPS ARE BIG AND THEY ARE COVERED IN BRIGHT FUCHSIA LIPSTICK, DAMMIT. OH, AND I WALK WITH A CANE BECAUSE I HAVE A DISABILITY, SO YOU CAN TAKE YOUR JUDGMENT AND SHOVE IT.”
I am not sure what walking with a cane and wearing bright lipstick have to do with each other. Maybe they have nothing to do with each other. But I will apologize for neither, and, in some way, I may be further inching toward accepting myself just a little more.
[Originally posted on my Tumblr]
Winston’s greatest (recorded) hits, so far
March 3, 2011So, my Yorkshire Terrier, Winston, is a critter about whom I have written before, most notably on FWD. I have described his odd habits before, but in order to get the true Winnie experience, it is best to view it for oneself. Below are some videos that my partner, Liam, recorded that feature Winston’s weirder behaviors. The first two are funnier in HD or in one of YouTube’s high-quality formats.
Here is one that features Winston panting (loudly!), after a lengthy walk on a warm day (the thing on the right is my foot):
Spinning his face into the carpet (exactly what it sounds like). The best part, I think, is at the end, when he realizes that someone is watching:
Rubbing himself on our couch and making bizarre noises for no discernible reason at all:
I’m sure Winston will have many more YouTube vids to come, but for now, the above will have to do!
Problem toes
February 24, 2011What I imagine my toes might say, if they could talk. As usual, click for large.
[Description: Black and white line drawing of two feet; all of the toes have gleeful facial expressions, and a few of them have dialogue lines. Third left toe: "My nail grows at a weird angle"; Big left toe: "My large calluses will never go away, Ped Egg or no"; Big right toe: "The joint just below me will hurt in cold weather, and you will have no idea why!"; Smallest left toe: "My nail grows at a 45-degree angle!"]
Dancing robot
August 8, 2010I am in the middle of doing many things (including moving), which means I haven’t had much time to update! Here is a robot, developed by H. Kozima and M. Michalow, dancing to some music.
